The One.

I usually have a nice long list of resolutions for the new year, and despite their good intentions, I only get maybe half of them done or get just a little better at some things instead of perfecting them. So to mix things up, I only have one resolution for 2016, but it's a big one.

I want to be a _____ _________. 

Why is it blank? Well, first because I'm nervous and scared. And second, I feel like it might not need to be said since my actions and choices this year should hopefully reveal the end goal. All I need is one resolution this year because in order to achieve it, everything else that I want to improve on has to fall in place too. Sleep more/better, eat cleaner, train harder, train smarter, recover better, read more, learn more, fight more, be more.

The list looks exactly the same as the last few years, so why do I expect the results to be different? Despite some improvements in all departments, I know I can level up my game tenfold. Last year had a rough start with injuries and accidents, but I finished strong at four championships to end the season and in those two months, I learned so much more about what it takes to be the best, and the fire in me burned even brighter.

Despite nursing an injury and a cold at the moment, I'm already off to a better start than 2015. My bike and run fitness are surprisingly high for this time of year, and my swim is slowly making a comeback. Instead of looking at competitors' times and thinking I'll never be that good, I'm telling myself you can do this. You can compete with the best of them. I have until September to get ready.

Someone told me the other night after asking me what my goals were this year, "I believe you can do it. I can see it in your eyes. You're going to be a force to reckon with. I can feel the energy right now radiating off of you. You're going to have a killer year." I've only met this person twice.

Can you feel it too? Something electrifying. All it took was just one big scary resolution.

I have my support group. I'm healthy and fit. Let's go make 2016 my bitch.

The best support group any aspiring athlete could hope for. Heck, anyone can ask for!

Long Course National Championship Thoughts

The final leg of the dirty thirty days was spent in Oklahoma City. I honestly was ready for the weekend to be over because I was exhausted from packing, unpacking, traveling, training, and racing non-stop, but at the same time, I didn't want it to be over because of the great company and being able to race with friends.

We had a great Houston showing at Redman! Missing our final member Griselda.
PC: Landi Orza

I originally wasn't going to race Redman, but these fellas made a great pitch, and I couldn't pass up the opportunity to race a national championship so close to home. And after looking up the distances for the long course world championship, coach and I decided to claim a Team USA spot for next year (despite focussing on a short course season) since the distances will be in my favor :)

Turbo Turtle has been busy traveling the world! His last stop of the season will be in OKC.

I made some new friends in transition, and they showed me where the swim start was for race day!
I couldn't understand their dialect of quacking, but they seemed excited to race too.

The bad part about traveling for a race is the extra walking and standing you have to do. All the bike prep work, athlete check in, and bike check-in all take their toll on the legs. Landi and I took a page from Mosey's book and elevated our legs for a bit before our last snooze before the big day!

Mosey the bear knows his stuff!

My race was almost over before it began. My lower right back was in a lot of pain and I could barely walk or get in and out of the car without grimacing. I suspect that I probably tweaked it while sitting in the car for 6+ hours of commute. The rest of the evening was spent rolling, heating, and stretching as much as possible to limit the amount of pain I'm going to feel during the race. 

The number one rule of racing is to not try anything new on race day, but that rule has lately been tossed out the window! I packed an icy hot patch in transition to apply on my lower back after the swim to help numb the pain and get me through the bike ride. I've never worn one while biking, training, or racing, so it was a risk, but a risk worth taking since without it, I don't think I would've been able to bike. I also did a lot of research to ensure that it was safe to wear a patch during extreme activities (safety first, always!). Additionally, with all the traveling and racing, I ran out of my normal gel and had to use a random substitute that I had laying around at home since my sponsors couldn't get my special order to me in time (my fault for sending in a request so late!). Well you know me.. I like challenges, so it kind of added to the excitement of how things were going to pan out during the race. Will the patch work? Will I have to walk my bike? Will I puke because of the new gel? 

(I do not recommend anyone else to follow my example for this race!! I was desperate. Please don't try anything new on race day! :) )

Icy Hot patch in the helmet trick ...that no one else ever uses!

Race report told by the thoughts in my head. :)

Swim

• "Keep it up, you're doing great! This is going to be your best swim yet! There's no one else around you!"
• "There's still no one near you! You must be killing it!"
• "Wait, why does the buoy keep moving further away? Is that the second buoy? I should be at the third one by now."
• "Ugh, there's a stealth current. I hate swimming. This is going to be my worst swim ever. I'm quitting triathlons. I'm going to switch to duathlons from now on. No more swimming."
• "You're not going to do that. You love challenges. You're going to keep swimming and get better at it."
• "Dammit. You're right. Let's just keep swimming."
• "Ouch! You didn't have to kick me in the face. I know you're there, I'm trying to get around you, but there's someone on top of me right now, so it's a little hard to swim out of your way."
• "Did you just cut me? Bitch just cut me! It must be deep. I can feel the skin flapping on my hand each stroke. Cut your nails, lady!"
• "There's the final turn!! It's almost all over! Hurry, the faster you swim, the faster you're out of the water!"
• "Let's see what the damage is. What? 37 minutes even after all that? I'll take it!"

T1

• "The worst part is over. Hallelujah!"
• "Grab the towel. Dry your back off and put on the Icy Hot patch. Be careful not to touch it with your cut hand! Google said so."
• "Dang it! Why does it have to be so windy. Just hurry up and put the patch on with both hands!"

Bike

• "Blood. So much blood. That lady should pay for my new bar tape later."
• "Okay, Ang, focus. The bike course record is 2:28. Hit your numbers and you'll beat it."
• "Push push push! Stay in Z3 the entire time. You can do this!
• "C'mon guys, it's okay to get chicked. Stop forcing me to burn matches to avoid drafting calls. Let me through!"
• "Wow, this Icy Hot patch is working really well. I'm afraid to know what kind of drug is in it!"
• "Dude, Ang, you're burning way too many matches! Be careful. Just ignore the men and do your thing."
• "Hi ref, I swear I'm not drafting. I'm just trying my best to ride my own race but people are in my way! Please stop riding next to me, you're scaring me with penalties!"
• "Finally!! Open space! Unleash the beast! Average power must be in Zone 3 or you're walking home! Let's go!"
• "WHEEEE! 2:26! Awesome! I hope your legs can still run because they hurt already."

T2

• "One leg left. You love this sport. C'mon, let's go."

Run

• "Breathe. Just 13 miles. No biggie."
• "Oh no, did I push too hard on the bike? My legs hurt so badly and it's only the first mile."
• "I can't breathe*. Chest hurts. Head is starting to hurt and feel dizzy. Legs are still on fire. I'm only on mile 3. I'm not going to crack 5 hours at this rate. I give up. No one is going to blame you for slowing down. You've had a tough month."
• "I hate this. No more tris for you this year. No Oilman. Just finish this run, and we are done for this year. Only 9 miles till the end of your season. C'mon."
• "Okay, you've given up long enough. The faster you run, the faster you're done. Let's go. 8 miles, it's a normal weekly run. You can do it!"
• "Yuck! This gel is nasty. Waaaaaay to sweet. My teeth are tingling. Oof, my gut is going to pay for this later."
• "One mile at a time. Okay, just kidding. One step at a time. Left, right, left, right. That's not working. Okay, let's chase some rabbits instead, but don't count them out loud!"
• "35..36... Push harder! I can't! If I push any harder, my legs are going to collapse. Alright, just keep this effort up, you're doing great. ..37...38"
• "Everything hurts! My legs are so toast. Please hang on, only a few minutes left and the dirty thirty challenge is over."

*turns out the pollen count was 9.8/12, making it a bit tougher to breathe well

Don't let the smile deceive you. I'm hurting a lot!
PC: Jenny Keele

As you can see, a lot goes on in my head during a race. I tried to use all tricks I know to get me to keep going when I wanted nothing more than to stop. I finished with a time of 5:01:58, a one minute PR for the 70.3 distance. I was hoping for much more, but given the circumstances, I couldn't have asked myself to give any more than I did. And that is all I ever wanted to do at a race -- leave absolutely everything out there. I had to sit down for a good ten minutes before I could manage to walk around, and I'm usually up and about within seconds after finishing a race. I'm slowly but surely learning how to not hold back physically or mentally in a race and to fight with everything I have. This lesson is going to pay back dividends in the future :)

2nd in my age group and claimed another Team USA spot for Worlds next year! :)
PC: Landi Orza

The most exhilarating part of my day was keeping tabs on my dear friend Landi and watching her finish with her dream PR time. I knew she could do it all along, but she didn't believe me :) It has been an honor to work with her on the bike and to share race pointers in making this tough sport a little bit easier. The best part is the friendship we've developed and watching her start to dream bigger and bigger. I can't wait to help you achieve those dreams, Landi!

Big smiles from the 2016 Team USA Qualifiers!! :D
PC: Landi Orza

ITU World Championships Photoblog

A different kind of race report because 1) there's three that I have to write in the next few days and 2) why not? A new flava flav is always good. :)

Please enjoy the photoblog of my first ITU World Championship!

ITU World Championship was on home soil this year, located in Chicago. We zoomed through O'Hare so I could make athlete check-in on time!

Traveling is stressful, so we try to have as much fun as we can with the airport decor :)

I learn quickly! Don't put the camera in front of your face for mirror selfies :P

I trained my Sherpa well! ;)

Our hotel room wasn't ready yet, so I had to reassemble my bike outdoors with this view. What a bummer!

After athlete check-in, building my bike, and checking Turbo Turtle in, we joined Team USA at the Parade of Nations.

It's always more fun with two, so I snuck my Sherpa into the parade.

First step of race day is to squeeze all of me into itty bitty that.

This was the Sherpa's idea. I was only here to race.

The Sherpa turned into an ambitious photographer and kept yelling at me to pose.

Sherpa is still clicking away!

HAMming it up because it's game time!

Rough swim. Cold water hurts the lungs. Always glad to be back on land!
And I broke rule #1 of racing -- don't try anything new on race day. I had to borrow Karen's wetsuit because my old one got too large for me.

Zoom zoom zoom! Too fast for the shutters. :) I caught tons of people on the bike!

Team USA all the way! 3 laps went by quickly, and I clocked a top 5 bike split.

My favorite leg of the race ended way too quickly!

First time trying to redline on the run since the concussion. Feeling good, form is good, legs feel good.

Not feeling good anymore! No smiles because that hurt. My head started hurting the last half mile, and I lost 4 places in the final stretch as 4 USA teammates passed me. Apparently, my brain still hasn't healed enough yet to endure redline runs :( Darn concussions!

But wheeee! All smiles from the ITU World experience and representing our country.
I placed 33rd in my age group. Not too bad for a long distance athlete :) Still got some speed in me!

The Sherpa snuck into the Athlete's Lounge and made me sit in the frozen kiddie pool.
And the hair proves that the windy city is no joke!

The Sherpa and I were convinced the big fan was there for photo ops, not to cool athletes down!

Might as well have some fun at the famous Bean on the way back to the hotel while I'm suited up!

We had an ET moment. 

After a delicious lunch, we watched the Elite women battle it out for Grand Final Champion, Olympic team rosters, and WTS Champion.

These three ladies ran side by side for 3 out of 4 laps and Gwen Jorgenson (USA) sprinted in the last 2k to win by over 22 seconds! #Gwensanity

We came back to our hotel room with an evening surprise! A friend we made in Salzburg sent us goodies from her favorite bakery in Chicago. I love the adventures and friends this sport gives me!

One race wasn't enough, so the Sherpa and I teamed up for a relay.
By the look on her face, I think the Sherpa prefers Sherpa-ing instead of racing.

Karen swam, I biked, and our friend Holly ran! We placed 1st!! Thanks for joining us Holly!
I also think I set a PR for a sprint bike leg, averaging 25mph :)

Until next time, Worlds!

Thank you Sherpa Karen Man for all the photos!

Dirty Thirty Dare

The next 30 days are going to be my greatest challenge. Starting Sunday, I'll have the Ironman 70.3 World Championship and soon after flying home and unpacking, I'll have to repack in two weeks for the ITU World Championships in Chicago. Three days upon returning from that, I head out to Oklahoma for the Long Course National Championship. Uh, big cookie? I may have bitten off more than I can chew, but I love chocolate cookies (and pretzels) as much as I love testing, pushing, and challenging myself.

I like big cookies and pretzels!

What's my limit? How much faster and stronger can I get? How can I be better? I want to be the best me. How can I get there?

Well, first is a lot of sleep and rest from all the traveling and training. Second is putting in the work each training session. Third is believing in myself that I can not only accomplish the goal at hand but crush it.

Why dirty? Because it's going to get rough and tough. My motivation is going to waver. My body and mind will be pushed to its limits. I'm going to want to give up and take it easy, but instead, I'm going to have to dig deep. Real deep. Tears might be shed, sweat will be poured. It's going to get dirty.

But at the end of the day, when all the blood, sweat, and tears are all washed off and I am clean, there will be a new and improved me. Even if I don't fully complete the challenge and all its goals, I'll still benefit from the journey and all the hard work. :)

Where does the road go? Who knows, but the journey is nice!

Please join me these next 30 days with your own challenge(s). What's something you've always wanted to try or do? Is there a challenging bike route or hill you've always avoided? Do you want to run or go to yoga class 3 times a week? Is there a dance you want to learn? A book you want to read? Are there new recipes you want to try? Let me know what your dirty thirty day challenge is so we can hold each other accountable and help one another reach our goals.

Ironman 70.3 World Championship Goals

1. Soak in the experience and just do my best.

2. I would love to finally break 5 hours! (Might not be possible because of the mountain on the bike course)

3. Have the PR run I know my body's been waiting to do.

4. Crack top 25 in my age group (going to be a really tough one to do since everyone will be so strong).

ITU World Championships Goals

1. Redline as much as possible! Been holding back all summer because of the concussion.

2. If any headaches occur during the race, be smart enough to shut it down to protect the brain.

3. Enjoy being at a home ground Worlds and engage with as many Team USA athletes as possible. 

4. Bang out a PR swim, bike, and run for a sprint.

Long Course National Championship Goals

1. Have fun and enjoy my final race of the triathlon season.

2. I would love to massively PR at the 70.3 distance here on this flat course

3. Finish within the top ten athletes in my age group

Big cookie for a big appetite. :) what's your dirty thirty dare?

Turbo Turtle's first World Championship!

My First Worlds

I just wrapped up my final week of peak training in Austria and now I get to enjoy a recovery week before race week. During these past few weeks, I have been reminded of just how amazing the human body is. I mean, I already knew a lot about its awesomeness from studying it to be a doctor, but from a performance standpoint and pushing its limits, it has been an exhilarating time for both my athletic and student mind.

The roads here are great and the scenery is breathtaking (especially when climbing up the Alps!)

What you and your mind can will the body to do and how it responds is pretty incredible. When coach posted my training plan to prepare for Worlds two months ago after I got cleared from my concussion, I thought there was no way I could possibly complete some of those peak training sessions, but I brushed that thought aside and said I wouldn't worry about it until the time comes.

The water in the lakes are so blue, it's ridiculous!

Despite feeling really out of shape from doing nothing for the month of June, it was really easy jumping back into training mode. I was more relaxed than I had been all year, putting less pressure on myself to perform at a certain level since I knew I needed to take it easy to protect my brain. 

Austrian country side. Views like this goes on for miles and miles!

Who knew that the secret to getting better was to not care? ;) As each week passed, I felt stronger and more confident and actually started looking forward to the harder workouts so I could challenge myself. I was always hungry for more. More power, more strength, more sweat, more miles, more fun. I was also hungry for less. Less stress, less doubts, less pressure, less negativity. My appreciation and passion of all the little things I love about this sport and what I do, even to what may seem like the trivialest of reasons, all grew daily. They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, and yes it has. I feel more like a kid again -- care-free, in awe of everything, and nothing has limits. With a lighter mind and heart, I've been able to perform at a level I knew I was capable of but could never manage to produce.

Hitting my stride on both the run and the bike the last few weeks :)

The last three weeks have been so thrilling to witness as my mind and body worked in harmony to bring me to the best shape I've ever been in since the old glory days of junior olympics. I know for the past two years I've been preaching about believing in yourself, and I have been to some extent, but right now, I'm believing in myself with every molecule of my being, and I must say it feels freaking fantastic! This past weekend I was flying up and down the Alps outside of Salzburg without suffering (or maybe because I was having too much fun and it masked the pain) and I normally dislike/suck at climbing. :)

Hellooo Alps!

I feel like my entire life journey has molded and built me for what's to come in the coming weeks and I can't wait to see what all the hardships I've been through and all the hard work I've put into myself will produce. The little kid in me is so giddy that any outcome will be a dream come true.

Shooting star gazing on our first night abroad. Making wishes and finding dreams.

They say you find your truest self in your most peaceful moments. Well, this is certainly one of those moments. Breathing the fresh mountain air and spending most of the day doing what I love in some of my favorite scenery inundate me in an unbreakable sense of calmness. When your body, mind, and nature all become one, you feel pretty invincible. I sense an extra power in me; it's quiet but still loud in its presence. I feel like I can do absolutely anything I set my mind to, and that's a very dangerous power to give me. Race week starts tomorrow, and I cannot wait to use this quiet power to make a loud impact. :) 

:)

HUNGRY!

I was angry. Angry for getting hurt and being out of commission due to someone else's negligence. I was hurt because headaches hurt and I had goals, big goals. But being angry and upset made me hurt more, so I learned to let it all go.

Bye bye anger.
Bye bye goals.
Bye bye fear.

Hello contentment.
Hello happiness.
Hello hunger.

Nearly 8 weeks post concussion, I am happy and hungry. I'm hungpy! I'm so glad to be back in training full force and having been away from training and racing made me very hungry. I thirst for power, I hunger for strength, and I greed for speed. I've been approaching every training session with extra fire that was just embers not too long ago.

The hunger has kicked in right on time as I enter into the final peak training block before the 70.3 World Championships. The next three weeks are going to be rough as I push my body and mind to be the best that they can be, but I am ready for it.

I am very hungry. Hungry for championship cookies.

Can you hear me roar?

Nega+ive (The Positives in the Negative)

Last week was my first week back of regular training, and it was awesome! :) Did it make up for the four weeks I missed while recovering from a concussion? Almost.. it was that good of a week. :P

I am one of those people who truly believes that everything happens for a reason, even if it puts me through a ridiculously miserable and horrible time. Luckily this time around, it was only slightly miserable and I was able to use the time to practice what I've learned and to keep growing.

The last four weeks I have been reminded of/learned:
1. I have the best friends and family. They kept calling and texting to check up on me and to remind me to listen to the doctor's orders so I won't prolong healing. Normally I dislike talking on the phone, but I had no problem answering the phone the first few weeks since I was inundated with love each time, and it broke the monotony of laying in bed all day.

2. For someone who is self sufficient and always has a long to-do list, being asked to do nothing was beyond hard. My roommates tried to wait on me hand and foot despite my best efforts to ignore their pleas. I had to be chauffeured everywhere, and even then, sitting in the car was unbearable and causing headaches. I wasn't allowed any screen time and I had to helplessly watch the inbox count increase daily -- that was the worse! I love getting stuff done, and stuff was not getting done.

3. Sleep. We have not been the best of friends, but we definitely got closer. The first week alone after the concussion, I ended up sleeping as much as I did the previous two weeks combined. Crazy! I've definitely picked up more good sleep habits from this stint and restarted a proper circadian rhythm.

4. Not being able to exercise or train bothered me the most because of the goals I have for the year. The fear of losing too much fitness and not being able to get it back was a huge stressor the first few days, and it made my headaches worse. But after accepting what had happened and that brain recovery was the newest and highest priority goal, everything got easier. I learned to let go and was willing to not be as competitive at Worlds if it meant I would be healed and able to return to doing what I love.

5. By the end of the fourth week, I actually started to enjoy doing nothing, which is something I've been trying so hard to learn the last decade. As life ramps back up, I need to remember and cherish this lesson by socializing more, sleeping more, doing less, and letting go. Chillaxing like a pro. I'm going to be ice cold!

Stop, collaborate and listen.
Ice is back, I got a brand new invention
Something grabs a hold of me tightly
Flow like a harpoon daily and nightly
will it ever stop? Yo - I don't know.
Now turn off the lights and I'll glow..

..Ice Ice Baby

Everything happens for a reason. There's no point in getting mad or stressed over it. The sooner I learn my lessons, the better, right?

Accidental Challenge

"Accidents happen."

The police officer kept replying with that line when the driver, who rear ended me on the freeway, tried to file an accident report against the driver and stalled vehicle we tried to avoid, so she wouldn't be at fault. The officers refused to write a report and left us to handle the case on our own.

It's easy to get mad and frustrated, especially after all the hassle and torment the last car accident brought dealing with medical bills and appointments for six months and insurance agents for nearly a year.

But accidents do happen. 

As I sit here at the neurologist's office waiting to see what my future and brain's future will hold, with a raging headache I might add, it's hard not to lose hope and feel helpless and hurt. I want to point fingers. I want to blame somebody. I want to scream. I have plans, big plans this summer, and you're ruining it all!! And most of all, I want to be free -- free to bike, run, swim, cook, drive, etc. but I can't. I can't do anything because I have a concussion (the second in fifteen months =\).

One of few things I hate most in this world is laziness. And that's all I'm allowed to do and be for the next two weeks (at least!). :( There's only three things the doctor put on my to-do list: eat with friends, sit in a car, and walk around the block. Options one and two are limited because my head can barely stand sitting in a car.

"You look like the definition of relaxed," said my roommate.
The life of a concussed is not as glamorous as it looks! I'm dying inside :P

So cue sad thoughts and a depressing mood, but I don't want to do that this time around. I must stay positive. Instead of being super mopey, I'm going to try to use these next two weeks as an opportunity to see how much I've grown and to grow some more.

I'm going to challenge myself to put me first. I must take care of me and learn how to relax and do nothing. I'm not even allowed to think. How I had to make my car go from 60 to 0 on Saturday, I have to make my brain and body go from 20473618 to 0. Honestly, I rather do an ironman everyday for the next two weeks than what the doctor is telling me to do.  You can't always get what you want...

But if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need! (Sorry, I had to. :) )

To pass some time, we wanted to play some games, but all the games I have at home are strategy/thinking games.
So we went out and purchased a few non-thinking games. :)
PS. This is how Tim and I are settling arguments from now on!

As much as it sucks, I probably needed this challenge, so dear universe, I accept.  Please be kind.