Sunshine: Walburg and Pace Bend Road Race

A year ago I was bedridden from a severe concussion, unable to stay awake to get anything done. This year, I survived road racing weekend and came out unscathed with a great deal of fitness in the bank that I can continue to build on. I'd say 2015, despite its slow start, is already beginning to be a great and hopefully monumental year.

Walburg Road Race
Walburg. Oh, Walburg.  I think the Walburg Road Race is my defining first race each year. Last year's race was an eye-opener to my cycling abilities and this year's race didn't disappoint. My legs were feeling the long run and bike ride of ironman training during the week, but they still felt quite strong. I tried to get in a longer warmup to wake them up for the effort that was about to take place. I reluctantly started in middle of the pack (I need to learn to be more aggressive in positioning!) but worked my way up to the front as soon as I could to avoid missing any breakaways like last year, but before I knew it, I was leading the charge. I knew I'd regret this tough of an effort later but after having such a sluggish start to the year/training, it felt nice to just let loose and see what I was capable of. And so I let loose and kept hammering it in the wind. Despite the hard effort, the race wasn't hard at heart since I got to chat, crack jokes, and laugh with fellow racers, teammates, and friends. I mean, here I am, pushing what I thought was an all out pace, yet I could still laugh and talk like it was a Sunday Funday ride. :) #believe

Even though this picture is from a training ride and not the race, it captures perfectly how racing was at Walburg. Melissa and I up front making others hurt and cracking up while doing so. :)
PC: Marcus Kuliska

My cardiovascular fatigue from training during the week caught up to me at mile 26, and I could no longer breathe and sustain the high effort. I got dropped by the pack and wheezed my way to the finish. That sucked because my legs still had some juice left in them. I felt bummed for about maybe a second after finishing, but after spotting the "YOU SET A NEW RECORD" alert on my Garmin after crossing the finish line, there was nothing to be upset about. Setting a new power record this early in the season despite coming off an injury and inconsistent training was mind blowing, and I can't wait to see what else my body can do the rest of this year. I hope it keeps surprising me!


Pace Bend Road Race
I'm not going to lie. I was nervous about this race all week and all Saturday evening. The horror of last year's crash still plays fresh in my mind, and the scars it left behind I see everyday on my arms and legs. And the concussion? I was still feeling the effects of that well through August of last year. I honestly thought about backing out of the race, especially since it was forecasted to be rainy and cold, and if a crash as bad as 2014 could happen on a perfectly dry weathered day, what could happen on a dark and dreary wet one? I sucked it up and lined up at the start, knowing well that I needed to race this course to get over the fear and to clear the bloody slate.

It's hard to forget this scene.

I took every turn way too safely (aka super slowly) and did more work than I wanted to riding up front and outside of the pack. Safety first was my motto and I didn't care if I had to use up extra energy after each turn to accelerate and catch the pack as long as I got home in one piece. Every time we approached the dreaded corner/site of the crash, I white knuckled my handle bars. It was definitely a nerve-wrecking race. By the second lap, I learned that if I kept my heart rate under 190, I can keep the wheezing at bay and can continue to breathe and race at a decently hard effort, just can't give it everything (not this day at least!). I had to stress my muscular system and legs more to compensate, which showed in the final meters as I had nothing left in my legs to take on the finishing climb aggressively and rolled in with the rest of the pack.

It felt great to be able to finish this race on two wheels rather than four. That was my main objective of the day, and I'm glad our entire field was able to finish safely. The other positive note was that I was somehow able to average 187W the entire race with just one foot on the gas pedal. Maybe I should stop underestimating myself!

Doing work and having fun! Something tells me 2015 is going to be a fun year :)
PC: Shawn Jantzen

Lessons
1. Redefining goals and having a more positive frame of mind makes training and racing (and living!) much easier and enjoyable. Even though the beginning of 2015 has handed me some tough times, learning how to extract the positives out of each situation and changing my mentality about myself and my abilities are game changers. Besides upping my physical game for this season, my mental game will add so much more :)
 2. I am capable of so much more.  I just have to fully believe in myself. I averaged 190W for the Walburg Road Race and 187W for the Pace Bend Road Race. To put those numbers in perspective, these wattages were my goal for sprint triathlons last summer and I had struggled to reach them. Imagine my surprise of producing and holding this amount of power despite not having trained to hit these numbers and with worn out ironman training legs. Wait, there's even more good news. I definitely felt like I could've maintained that effort for another lap or two or three. No sprinting, but as a steady effort. I can't wait to see what's in store for the rest of this season!!
3. Just because things seem better in threes. And fours. And fives. Friends and teammates make everything more fun. Despite how much I love and need alone time, many good memories and laughs have been shared lately with all my teams -- cycling team, triathlon teams, life support team. Love and happiness are meant to be shared. It seems the more I give them away, the more I get back. Life is good. :D

:) Margie and I always smile for our own special (and favorite) photographer!
PC: Natalie Pruitt

Peekaboo!

After a rough start to the year with injuries and inconsistent training, it's hard to not feel discouraged and lose some confidence. Then follows the doubts, negative thoughts, and wanting to give up. But 2015 was suppose to be different. I was to believe in myself fully and remain positive aka work on my mental game.

So instead of freaking out, I relaxed.

- You're burnt out anyways and need this time to recover.

- It's another long season, so take your time to get ready. There's no rush.

- Use this period to spend more time with friends and family before training ramps up.

I trained when I could and kept pushing through the mental and physical rut. How bad did it get? A friend had to push me (literally push me, as in hand on my back, launching me every couple seconds) the last 12 miles of a century ride. Try not feeling embarrassed after that!

But instead of hanging up my cleats the next day, I was back out there. Despite being in pain and clearly frustrated at how hard it was to hit numbers that I used to hold easily, I kept going. Then the inevitable happened. There were glimpses of the athlete I was and know I can be. They'd show up randomly during training sessions. 

Peekaboo

I'm hitting and sustaining power numbers from the end of last season.

Peekaboo

I'm feeling so good, I'm racing trains.

Peekaboo

I'm feeling stronger at the four hour mark than I was at the forty minute mark.

Peekaboo

I'm daydreaming about competing at Worlds and next thing I know I'm holding Zone 4 like it's nothing.

Peekaboo

There's a big stupid grin on my face.

These legs surprise me with what they can do sometimes

Sometimes glimpses of hope are all that's necessary. Hanging onto those moments and working toward making them permanent is more rewarding than believing they are just fleeting moments.

These glimpses of greatness, strength, and success are all I need to sustain and fuel me at the moment. I know the elite athlete is still in me and it'll reveal herself when she's ready. And man, I'm freaking ready!

Never give up. Always believe. Play peekaboo.

Move

A few weeks ago, I attended a concert that was entirely in another language. None of the songs performed were in English, but that didn't stop me from thoroughly enjoying myself because I could feel the music and the love and passion that were being expressed by the artists on the stage. Head bangings, shoulder shrugs, eye closings, leapings, feet stompings, grand gesturings. I witnessed passion pouring out from every pore of their bodies and that was enough to make me understand the message they were trying to send me. Music moves. Passion moves.

Idan Raichel and his band doing their amazing thing

That is what I want to do. I want to move people. I want to inspire others with my passion alone. We don't have to speak the same language. We don't have to live the same life. We don't have to play the same sport. We just have to connect.


You don't have to know my whole life story or understand all the hardships I've been through to realize the magnitude of what I'm trying to do (although it'll help!). The changes speak for themselves. The growth will be revealed. The love and passion will ooze from every pore of my being. Because when you are truly touched and moved, the enlightenment and joy cannot be contained.

I'm not a big fan of selfies, but this photo is too infection and joy-filled to not share

2015 will be the year where I will not be contained. I want to move, be moved, and move you. With every fiber of my being, I am going to believe. Last year I believed too but with doubts. This year I am succumbing to what moves me because I want to be a better person (and athlete!). I need to be a better me. I need to keep moving.

Life's all about discovering the unknown and relishing its adventures

No more doubting for 2015.
No more negative thoughts.
No more worrying.
No more regrets.
No more holding back.


Just give in, believe, and move.





Can you feel it?

Good. 2015 is going to be our year. Let's move!

ps, where I'll be moving to this year :)