Ironman and New Life

Tomorrow will be my third and final* Ironman. I thought I'd be overwhelmed by nerves especially because the bigger the race, the more worrisome I get, but for some reason I am very calm. Too calm. But maybe not.

Four years ago, Ironman Texas saved my life. I was drowning in the deepest of holes and I saw nothing but darkness around me. The tipping stone was a MVA (motor vehicle accident -- been watching too many medical/crime shows!) that not only totaled my car but also forced me to get shoulder surgery. With my usual escape of exercise being prohibited for at least a few months,  the hole got deeper. I knew I needed any kind of light and that even just a tiny sliver would be enough to make a difference. I impulsively signed up for the impossible, something I said I'd never be crazy or good enough to do -- an Ironman. It was a real gamble. I couldn't move my arm, I couldn't feed myself, I couldn't do much without help let alone swim, bike, or run. But desperate situations call for desperate measures. I now had a goal that was bigger than anything I've ever done before, and I had no choice but to overlook the misery/situation I was in and focus on achieving it.

Well, it worked.

Ironman #1 made me change all the I cannots to I cans. It forced me to rewire my brain (and life) to be more positive. It gave me the ability to dream. I could see the sky from the bottom of the hole.

Seen on my weekly runs, it serves as a constant reminder of where I've been and where I'm going.

Ironman #2 was in the midst of a tumultuous year where I battled between being held back by my past and moving forward into the brighter unknown. I fought drastic life changes but finally gave in and learned the difference between what I wanted and was accustomed to versus what I really needed and deserved. I persevered, grew a lot, matured, and started climbing out of the hole.

Ironman #3 will be the culmination of this journey. Out of all the pain and darkness, I now bear light. This one is all about belief and finally hopping out of that damn hole. This one is for the future me as I'm moving onto a new chapter in life, one where there is no more holes, just mountains to climb and views to enjoy. One where I shine light and pull people out from their holes.

Maybe that's why I am so calm. There's absolutely nothing for me to prove and I know my purpose in life. I've grown so much in the last few years and turned my life around for the better. I've developed and nourished good habits to stay out of holes and in the event that I set a foot in one, I've created a great support system to help me back up.

This view down the Woodlands Waterway will never get old.

No matter what happens tomorrow, I'm still going to be freaking proud of myself. I'm proud of who I have become and who I will be. The journey continues but the fun is just getting started.

Thank you for joining me. I can't wait to see what's in store!

*there's one exception to this finality