Inside Scoop aka My Mentalness

My last race prep run was prescribed as a 45 minute run in Zone 3, and to mentally and physically ready myself to give it everything, I took Sunday's recovery run and Wednesday's long run really easy. My goal for this workout was to maintain a pace in upper Zone 3 (7:10-7:30/mile) for the entire 45 minutes, which will benefit me not just physically but also mentally for Nationals on Saturday since that is the pace I want to race the 10K during the Olympic distance triathlon.

The last time I did a Zone 3 workout, it was only in segments of 20 minutes, and I was hurting pretty badly. After the second set of 20 minutes was finally over, I had to hang onto the treadmill handles to stay upright and to try not to throw up. This was encouraging and discouraging since I've only been running in Zone 1 the past 5 months except for a handful of times, so my body wasn't used to such efforts, but at the same time, I was able to push through and complete the training session.

Knowing what to expect this time around in Zone 3, I was ready to be in the pain box and really suffer. Or so I thought.

10 minutes into Z3 after a good warmup, I was already starting to feel the fatigue.
You got this. Just 35 more minutes. Focus.

18 minutes.
I'm feeling good but also hurting. Can I turn down the speed on the treadmill just a little? 
NO! Hang in there, there's only 27 minutes left.

20 minutes.
THIS SUCKS. I miss Zone 1 running already. 
Do you want to do well at Nationals? Keep pushing! Don't watch the time. 

Striving for the squiggly red logo aka perfection

It took a lot of concentration, but I made myself stare just straight ahead. All I could see was a pulley system machine at the gym and what looked like 'Perfection' written under the logo. (When I'm really tired, I cannot read off a paper sitting in front of me unless I really focus.. it really said Premotion but for the purpose of my own pep talk, I convinced myself it was perfection.)
Keep striving for perfection.
I'm trying! It's not getting any closer.
Keep pushing! You'll never reach perfection, but the best thing you can do is to keep striving for it. Don't give up. Be better.
Damn you and your pep talks. That'll be a good blog post.

27 minutes.
Ahhhhhhhh! Body hurts. Please slow down?
Strive. Push. Nationals. Worlds. Kona.

33 minutes.
Can we just end the workout early? Save some in the tank for Nationals? I mean, what's 12 minutes in a workout..
Are you going to just give up at Nationals when you start hurting?
No but everyone else around me is done with their workout or walking. Can't I join them?
Everyone else isn't trying to become a professional athlete. Plus, the body feels fine. You're strong enough to handle this pace and even more.  It's all in the mind.

Soaked in sweat from head to toe. Dripping everywhere. My clothes are drenched and sticking to me, making running even harder, but I just kept pushing. Head and face started tingling, but mind over matter. I had something to prove.

I seriously sweated more during this indoor run than some of my outdoor runs..

42 minutes.
Just 3 minutes left! We can quit now. 3 minutes less won't lose you any fitness.
Are you going to quit at Nationals with just 3 minutes left?
No..
That's right. No quitting. And because you asked, I'm going to up the pace till the finish.

End result? My fastest 10K ever! Even from my glory running days 15 years and 25 pounds ago. So spent but so worth it. Entering Nationals week with a lot more confidence! :)

#KeepStriving

The Sleep Chronicles

Sleep, rest, and recovery. My three nemesis became my three main foci and my new triathlon. Best case scenario (for which I had all my fingers and toes crossed) was that I could resolve all those issues within a few weeks. Shame on me for thinking years of sleep trouble could be fixed that soon. The past two months have been a serious roller coaster, emotionally and physically, and I've had to refocus on the smaller things that I can control and to exhibit more discipline than I ever have.

My Sleep Chronicles
Week 1: Good sleep just wasn't happening, and I was starting to get really frustrated. During a Thursday morning run, I was so fed up that I was prepared to stop in the middle of the street, take off my shoes, and throw them as part of a temper tantrum (something I rarely ever do, which means I'm really upset). Then I figured that might be a bad idea because I might get hit by a car, and I wouldn't be able to throw tantrums again train.

Week 2: The quality of sleep worsened. I was too worried about not sleeping well and that my entire future depended on getting this issue fixed. The only reason I was able to make it through the training sessions and hit my numbers was because I was getting more hours of sleep than I normally do despite still waking up 4+ times throughout the night.

Felt like a zombie for a while. Even the bags under my eyes had bags.

Week 3: Something clicked. I finally started sleeping better and only woke up a few times at night but went right back to sleep. Workouts were feeling easier, and I wasn't feeling as lethargic as usual. Then I volunteered for Ironman Texas that weekend, and the super early morning rising plus long days messed up my rhythm.

Week 4: See week 2 and 3. Volunteered for another race on a very crucial rest day. Doh!

Catching sleep whenever I can. A perk to carpooling to the TT Championships.
PC: Natalie Pruitt

Week 5: BREAKTHROUGH ..day. I slept through the entire night one day, and it was GLORIOUS! I mean, I was so excited that I emailed coach. :) I felt like superwoman that day and killed the workouts and the to-do list. The rest of the week sucked but getting that taste of sufficient rest gave me hope and strength to remain disciplined.

Week 6-8: Still similar to week 1-3, but it got progressively easier and easier to sleep early and well.

Despite all the frustration and setbacks, I'm kind of glad I'm going through the trenches now because I'm really learning what it means to be an athlete 24/7. And since sharing is caring, and I am naturally caring, I will share. :) Here are some of the top lessons/skills I've had to learn, re-learn, or hone:

1. Have patience and lots of it. I am normally a very patient person when it comes to others, but when it's about me, all bets are off! It's a lot harder to focus on something when you've failed at it for years and have almost completely given up. Sleep (quality and quantity) is not my forte, and it was really challenging to put it first above all else and to continue practicing good sleeping habits despite having little to no improvement. I had to learn to take it one night at a time and to continually encourage myself to keep up the good work. It'll all pay off. It has to.

I've learned to take it one day at a time and to enjoy every moment. Even if I'm dragging my feet on a run.

2. It's imperative to let things go. If I don't sleep well one night, I didn't fret about it the next day or conjure up worse case scenarios in my head (Oh, you'll never be able to sleep well. You won't make it as a professional athlete. It was never meant to be.) Bollucks! As Ron Weasley would say. It's just one night. I'll add in an extra nap during the day or try to go to bed a little earlier that night. There's no reason in shaming myself over something I can't control. Just stay the course and keep at it.

3. Have a good support system. It's a must have in all walks of life. All my close friends and family know about my new bedtime, and they try their best to adhere to it, which helps immensely. I was at a dinner party one evening, and I stayed longer than I should've because I didn't want to seem rude and be the person who just came to eat and left before socializing. But next thing you know, my sister Karen shouted from across the room, ANGIE! GO HOME! IT'S PAST YOUR BEDTIME! Then she proceeded to yell at Tim, inquiring why he hadn't made me leave yet. His response: I can't control her.

4. Be prepared to make sacrifices and be very disciplined. Tim was right, as usual (except when he's around me ;) ), that no one can control me. It's on me to go to bed early. Even if everyone else in my life catered to my schedule so I could get the rest I need, if I don't sleep or can't sleep, it's my fault. I have to be very disciplined in leaving parties and functions early so I can get home before 8 to prepare for bed. That being said, I also miss out on a lot of get togethers, tv shows, movies, or other would-be-fun-impromptu-adventures because I need to sleep. Any rattling to my already fragile sleeping rhythm will throw my sleep off for a while. And you know, I can't be throwing tantrums every week during training! :P

5. I comes before U. I am not promoting selfishness, but it is imperative that we learn to take care of ourselves from time to time. If our own state of health isn't great, how are we to give the best care to someone else? I have struggled with this issue and saying no for many years, and that led me to this massive sleep debt for which I am paying for now. It is really hard for someone like me to reject helping someone or volunteering, but I need to do that in the meantime until I get this sleep thing in order.

Volunteering at Ironman Texas.
Even though I was supposed to be watching the athletes, I had to think about me and eat :)

6. Leave room for surprises. There's no need to get down during a tough time. Training was tough without enough sleep, and the adjustments coach made to my training plan discouraged me because it made me feel less adequate, that I was moving backwards. The dream felt as if it was fleeting. During this time, I forgot one crucial thing. Quality over quantity. Progress over dreams. Dreams don't come true overnight. It takes days, months, sometimes even years to come to fruition. You have to look at the little changes and progress that you're making, because it'll all accrue. Just as a dam holds back droplets of water, your fitness banks keeps getting filled. And once there's enough water, once there's enough fitness, the dam breaks, and you'll have your breakthrough moment. My breakthrough moment was the Texas Time Trial Championships. It never crossed my mind during these past two months that I was capable of those performances. But my body said, surprise! You treated me well the last 8 weeks, so let me return the favor. If you don't give up on yourself, you'll be rewarded :)

There's no shame in cheesing, because I'm really proud of this surprise achievement!
PC: Natalie Pruitt

Week Now: I still struggle some nights with good quality sleep, but it's definitely getting better. I try not to get as frustrated as before and instead focus on the positives and the progress I have made. I know in the long run that all this effort and sacrifice and discipline will pay off tenfolds. So next time someone invites me to a late night party/trip/raves, I can proudly reply, "Sorry, I can't attend. I'm training to become a World Champion." :)

#truth

Mondays

Nearly everyone dreads Mondays, I'm not sure why, but today I'm feeling it too. Lying in bed and taking a mental status check on how all the parts of my body are feeling, I notice an abnormality. My right knee feels different than my left one and something just isn't right. Even if I didn't know what had happened or had any background information, I would've still sensed the same thing. It's crazy how in tuned one can be with the body.

Two Mondays ago, I went out on a morning run and slipped on ice and fell. The inside of my right knee was the first and main limb to make contact, taking nearly, if not all, the impact. Ouch. I popped right back up and finished my run. It hurt, and I could feel the swelling, but I've fallen before and have always gotten back up, so there was no reason to stop the training session. Once I got back to my hotel room, I took off my thermals and assessed the damage. Just as I expected: a huge lump with fluid and tenderness.

I did a lot of icing, compressing, elevating, and rubbing the next few days. Even though this treatment spelled out the famous RICE, it wasn't the right kind of rice. I never rested it. It felt fine so I kept running and hiking and running some more. I have a high pain tolerance, and really, it didn't hurt much unless I was massaging it to heal the bruise. It did feel different running, but nothing enough to make me stop (and I wanted to make the most of my altitude training!).

This is the best it looked after 3 days of massaging

Picture doesn't do it justice

Last Monday, I knew something was wrong since there was still a lump on the side of my knee despite the bruise being gone for days and walking up the stairs caused discomfort. So I made myself rest. By rest, I mean no running. I could still bike and swim since they are low impact. Wrong. Just bending the knee causes inflammation to the ligaments.

Today, after a weekend of testing my knee's limits for race day, I'm caving in and giving it as much rest as I can, so I can at least make it to the starting line next Sunday. Not too sure about that finish line, but I'm only going to focus on the one line in front of the water. That's what matters at this point. You can't finish what you don't start.

Parked myself in front of the tv

It's hard enough for me to sit still, and let alone not train, but a soldier's gotta do what a soldier's gotta do. Lose the battle, but win the war (watching too much television? which btw is so tiring and uninspiring). I can feel the fitness leaving my body at a rapid pace. :(

Hopefully next Monday will be better, so I can start liking Mondays again.

What a vacuum can teach me

The last few months I made the leap and forced myself to try to bike and hang on with the A-paced cyclers during all my group rides. I've always decided against this because they are way out of my league! And I also didn't want to be a hassle in slowing them down when I get dropped during a no-drop ride.

Even though I got stronger riding solo this year, there's something entirely different about riding in a group or with a training partner. They provide encouragement, they push you, they compete with you, they make you better. It was during a solo ride when I passed a cycling friend, and she proceeded to whoop and holler, telling me how good I looked. :) (Yeah, thanks Natalie!) Later in the ride she caught me, showing how much stronger she got.

Natalie and Marjorie, Queens of Cycling. 

I couldn't let them have all the fun in the A group. 

[PC: Natalie]

I started doing group rides again in June, but I stayed with the B+ group since that's all I knew. Natalie on the other hand was riding with the A group. I was jealous. She kept trying to convince me to join her, but I declined because I was scared and didn't think I was good enough. I saw how much fun Natalie and her friends were having and I wanted to be a part of that, so I leaped and never looked back.

Did I mention that A group had good looking people as well?

I just had to meet Marjorie and Eddie. :)

[PC: Natalie]

Every group ride I do now, I start with the fastest group no matter what. I hang on as long as I can, trying to increase that distance each time. With the really fast A groups, I have to draft often as I can't sustain that fast of a pace for long periods. What goes through my mind during these rides, you ask?

"Suck it. Suck it. Suck it. Suck it." 

Suck that wheel in front of you, no matter how much pain you're in. Suck that wheel, no matter how much you want to quit. Suck that wheel, even though you have no energy left. Suck that wheel, so you don't get dropped. Suck that wheel so you get stronger, faster, and better. Suck that wheel, so you can reach your goals. Suck that wheel to keep the dream alive. Suck that wheel because you can. I don't care if you've gone over your heart rate threshold, just suck it!

[Side note: For those of you who don't know cycling lingo, drafting is riding close behind another cyclist's rear wheel to save energy. They break through the wind barrier/resistance for you, and sitting close to them allows you to draft off them to save energy. Once you get close enough, your front wheel gets sucked into their rear wheel's slipstream.]

It's not a rare sight to see me passed out on the floor in my room after long rides with the A group. The effort wears me out. Despite how much pain I'm in during and after the ride, I can't help but have a huge sense of accomplishment and my goofy grin.

Vacuuming in 2006. Sucking and grinning.

As I continue to live this life, I need to be more like a vacuum. I need to suck. :) When things get tough, I need to suck it up and keep moving on. When I feel tired and am sore or in pain, I need to suck it up. When the weather is gloomy or rough outside, I need to suck it up and still go out to train. To get to where I want to be as an athlete, I need to put in the work. I cannot quit or give into what the world dishes at me. I need to persevere. I need to push on. I cannot give up. If there's something you want, a dream you chase, go for it. Give it everything you got. There's nothing to lose but fear itself. You are capable of more than you think. Believe in yourself. That's the greatest gift you can give. Go suck! :)

Sucking has made me look good too ;)

[PC: Natalie]

PS. Thank you Natalie Pruitt and Marjorie Muniz and Eddie Viteri for embracing me into your training group. Thank you for believing in me and for making me work and for shaping me into a better person and athlete. Thank you for all the pain and the fun. Hard work is hard, but I wouldn't want it any other way, and you make it easier. All my [future] success will always be credited to you guys.

Operation P!

New summer season means new training. For the next few months, I am changing up my training routine and focusing mainly on four P's.

Power Up
I want to gain strength and power, which means more weight lifting and functional strength training. Chappell Hill, here I come! Hope you haven't gotten tired of me yet. We'll be seeing a lot of each other. I'll also probably do some stadium runs and hill prancing. Anyone want to join me? :)


If I were stronger, I could just move the rock out of my way.
Pass Up
Since my next three races are sprint and olympic distances, I am in dire need of speed. Don't get me wrong, endurance is important, but I know I have that, and it's relatively easier to achieve; you just go further and longer. But to be faster, you have to train at or above your lactic threshold. Real painful and hard work! I hope I'm ready to want to hurl at every workout! Please don't be discouraged to be my training partner; I promise I won't throw up on you. I'll even give you a head start on the track; if I catch you, you can buy me dinner!


FYI, BBQ makes a good meal after speed work.

Pretty Up
Oh, you know.. summer time = summer bod. Just kidding. Not really. But I do need to focus on my form for both swimming and running. I have pretty good form for biking already. I need to make my swim stroke more efficient so I can hop out of the water and feel amazing instead of like a water zombie. My running form isn't terrible, but I can definitely work on keeping my shoulders loose and relaxed. Standing up straighter and taller wouldn't hurt either.

Look at this idiot. Yep, could definitely pretty up!

Party It Up
I definitely saved the best for last. This is the most important P.  I need to stay positive and have a boatload of fun. Training is hard work and exhausting, but it's also a privilege and a luxury that most people don't have. So, I will enjoy it for them and for me!  Also, it's tough to come home after a long day of training and hear negative comments about my lifestyle. I need to learn how to ignore those hurtful words and focus more on the encouragement and inspiration of friends and family. :)

My favorite wall at home :)

Will Operation P be a mission impossible? Duh nah nah nah.. Duh nah nah nah... Dun dun dun
Nope! Because IM possible! Hah! ...it's late.

Early bird

Early bird gets the worm and the sunrise.

With views like this, 7am workouts aren't so bad.

I am mental

I learned today that I am mental. And I'm happy about that.

I had planned to bike hills today in Chappell Hill, TX regardless of the weather, my feelings, or soreness. After my morning swim, I noticed how extremely windy it was and rethought about biking outdoors. Then I saw how bad traffic would be if I were to head out soon to hill country. Again, thinking about not biking. I checked the weather so that I could confirm my decision.

My mind debates:
- I'm tired and it's windy. Too windy. I could get blown away, lose control in a gust, and get hit by a car. It's going to be dangerous. It'll take longer to bike and I'll hit traffic on the way home. Don't do hills!
- But it'll make you stronger.  Hills and wind? C'mon!
- No! I'm too tired to push hard today.
- Champions are those who train when no one else wants to train.
- Argg!
- You'll come back stronger. Let's go.

I grudgingly packed my biking gear and headed out the door. It's so hard to be upset when the weather is so nice out! A little on the warm side, but so sunny and bright. On the drive there (90 min) I wanted to turn around a couple times. The wind was so strong! I could barely keep the car straight and stay in one lane.

- See! More the reason to bike at home, or not bike.
- Shut up. We're biking.

So I finally arrived and started biking. 22mph+ headwinds and crosswinds to start off, along with a climb within the first mile.

- I hate you.
- Good. Keep biking.
- I'm already hurting.
- Awesome! Keep biking.

This training ride was definitely one of the worst winds I've trained in. The wind was relentless; many times I was climbing hills at an angle. The gusts and cross winds made me look like a drunk cyclist.

- I'm cutting this ride short.
- You wuss. We're finishing the entire ride.
- I'm going home.
- You can't leave without me!

Long story short, I finished the ride. 45 miles of hills -- 40 miles with head/cross wind and 5 miles with tailwind. If I weren't so tired, I would've given myself a huge pat on the back.

- You're awesome.
- I know.


Lesson of the day: You have to be mentally strong for this sport. There's always going to be a voice that wants you to quit, to give up, to not put yourself out there, but if there's a heart and mind that's strong enough, you can always overcome it. You will triumph!

People may call me mental, but that's okay. I'll take it as a compliment.


Chappell Hill Ride