Thursday, February 19, 2015

Peekaboo!

After a rough start to the year with injuries and inconsistent training, it's hard to not feel discouraged and lose some confidence. Then follows the doubts, negative thoughts, and wanting to give up. But 2015 was suppose to be different. I was to believe in myself fully and remain positive aka work on my mental game.

So instead of freaking out, I relaxed.
- You're burnt out anyways and need this time to recover.
- It's another long season, so take your time to get ready. There's no rush.
- Use this period to spend more time with friends and family before training ramps up.

I trained when I could and kept pushing through the mental and physical rut. How bad did it get? A friend had to push me (literally push me, as in hand on my back, launching me every couple seconds) the last 12 miles of a century ride. Try not feeling embarrassed after that!

But instead of hanging up my cleats the next day, I was back out there. Despite being in pain and clearly frustrated at how hard it was to hit numbers that I used to hold easily, I kept going. Then the inevitable happened. There were glimpses of the athlete I was and know I can be. They'd show up randomly during training sessions. 

Peekaboo
I'm hitting and sustaining power numbers from the end of last season.

Peekaboo
I'm feeling so good, I'm racing trains.

Peekaboo
I'm feeling stronger at the four hour mark than I was at the forty minute mark.

Peekaboo
I'm daydreaming about competing at Worlds and next thing I know I'm holding Zone 4 like it's nothing.

Peekaboo
There's a big stupid grin on my face.

These legs surprise me with what they can do sometimes

Sometimes glimpses of hope are all that's necessary. Hanging onto those moments and working toward making them permanent is more rewarding than believing they are just fleeting moments.

These glimpses of greatness, strength, and success are all I need to sustain and fuel me at the moment. I know the elite athlete is still in me and it'll reveal herself when she's ready. And man, I'm freaking ready!

Never give up. Always believe. Play peekaboo.