Saturday, April 25, 2015

Heart Murmurs and Timelines

I have heart murmurs. I like to listen to them all the time.

They tell me my deepest desires and keep me honest about where my truth and happiness lies.

It has been a frustrating five months, a real roller coaster of sorts. After taking two weeks off to recover and prevent a total burnout, my mind and body were roaring to go and prepare for 2015. A week later, I suffered a quad/knee injury which I somehow managed to push through for two months until giving in because I could no longer walk. I finally figured out the problem, rehabbed, and a few days later, I ran a PR half marathon. This cycle continued a few times. A couple good weeks of training followed by fever and strep throat. Another solid block of training, then achilles issues but somehow managed to win my age group at a sprint triathlon. Despite all these setbacks and let downs, which can easily get to my head, my body still continued to surprise me with its abilities.

Rising to the top despite injuries and illnesses.
PC: Chris Vega

The questions and doubts creeped in but the heart wouldn't take it.

You are good enough.
You are strong enough.
You are talented enough.

You love this sport.
You love the feeling.
You love the people.
You love the challenge.

You are healthy.
You are dreaming.
You are happy.

Heart murmurs. I love heart murmurs. They are healthy for you. If you can dream, then you have them too. The thing about dreams is that they have their own timelines. We, being impatient people, want dreams to come true as soon as possible. That's what gets us down so quickly and ultimately forces us to give them up. I keep unintentionally putting myself down and putting unnecessary pressures on myself because I had put a timeline on my dream. So no more timeline. I am the happiest and healthiest I have ever been since I could remember, and that's all the sign I need that I'm doing things right. My main job right now is to continue dreaming, believing, peek-a-boo-ing, and growing. Everything else will follow.

Ironman 70.3 Texas is tomorrow and the only mission I have for this race is to race it solely with my heart. To give in, believe, and let my heart take over. No thinking is allowed. I'm going to let my body surprise me with whatever it wants to do tomorrow. I know I'm tired, I know I'm not tapered, I know I'm not as fit as I want to be. But the heart doesn't care -- it only murmurs you are healthy, you are dreaming, you are happy.


I get to race with this sweet new ride tomorrow!