Ironman and New Life

Tomorrow will be my third and final* Ironman. I thought I'd be overwhelmed by nerves especially because the bigger the race, the more worrisome I get, but for some reason I am very calm. Too calm. But maybe not.

Four years ago, Ironman Texas saved my life. I was drowning in the deepest of holes and I saw nothing but darkness around me. The tipping stone was a MVA (motor vehicle accident -- been watching too many medical/crime shows!) that not only totaled my car but also forced me to get shoulder surgery. With my usual escape of exercise being prohibited for at least a few months,  the hole got deeper. I knew I needed any kind of light and that even just a tiny sliver would be enough to make a difference. I impulsively signed up for the impossible, something I said I'd never be crazy or good enough to do -- an Ironman. It was a real gamble. I couldn't move my arm, I couldn't feed myself, I couldn't do much without help let alone swim, bike, or run. But desperate situations call for desperate measures. I now had a goal that was bigger than anything I've ever done before, and I had no choice but to overlook the misery/situation I was in and focus on achieving it.

Well, it worked.

Ironman #1 made me change all the I cannots to I cans. It forced me to rewire my brain (and life) to be more positive. It gave me the ability to dream. I could see the sky from the bottom of the hole.

Seen on my weekly runs, it serves as a constant reminder of where I've been and where I'm going.

Ironman #2 was in the midst of a tumultuous year where I battled between being held back by my past and moving forward into the brighter unknown. I fought drastic life changes but finally gave in and learned the difference between what I wanted and was accustomed to versus what I really needed and deserved. I persevered, grew a lot, matured, and started climbing out of the hole.

Ironman #3 will be the culmination of this journey. Out of all the pain and darkness, I now bear light. This one is all about belief and finally hopping out of that damn hole. This one is for the future me as I'm moving onto a new chapter in life, one where there is no more holes, just mountains to climb and views to enjoy. One where I shine light and pull people out from their holes.

Maybe that's why I am so calm. There's absolutely nothing for me to prove and I know my purpose in life. I've grown so much in the last few years and turned my life around for the better. I've developed and nourished good habits to stay out of holes and in the event that I set a foot in one, I've created a great support system to help me back up.

This view down the Woodlands Waterway will never get old.

No matter what happens tomorrow, I'm still going to be freaking proud of myself. I'm proud of who I have become and who I will be. The journey continues but the fun is just getting started.

Thank you for joining me. I can't wait to see what's in store!

*there's one exception to this finality

No Negativity Zone at Ironman 70.3 Texas

Coming into this race weekend, I knew my fitness was the best its been all year, but I honestly had no idea how I was going to do or feel considering I was at the end of a big training block for Ironman Texas and I was coming off a month long Achilles injury that finally had no traces left on Thursday. I was physically tired but healthy and was ready to see what damage I could do in Galveston, and boy was it fun!

Swim: The swim was non wetsuit legal for the first time since I started racing in Galveston in 2012. I was pretty happy about that because I'm not a big fan of swimming in a wetsuit. Despite the buoyancy it gives my heavy legs, my arms feel restricted and I tend to overheat quickly. The water was a perfect 76 degrees race morning and I have never felt this strong in an open water swim, ever. By the second buoy, I had already caught up to swimmers who started two waves before me. I kept trucking along and picked up the pace after each turn. I realized toward the last stretch that I hadn't been pushing hard enough because I was still feeling really fresh and comfortable. I popped out of the water at 36 minutes and some change, a nice swim PR, but I know it could've been a few minutes lower. I need to work on transferring my pool speed to open water. But no negatives here! To feel that strong the entire swim and knowing I could do much better showed how much stronger of a swimmer I've become. Can't wait to spend more time in the pool and become a fish!

Keeping up with this one makes me a better swimmer!
PC: Karen Man

T1: No T1 shenanigans this time with Karen since we had different swim starts, but I did get delayed by the walking zombies at the swim finish (people crowding and walking super slowly up the ramp) and by the wetsuit strippers who didn't know how to pull off my speedsuit. Those strippers didn't get my dollar bills because it would've been quicker to just do it myself!

Bike: Turbo Turtle lived up to its name. It's a fast bike! I only slowed down during the turns because the roads were wet and I wasn't used to handling the new bike at such high speeds. But wow!! I made myself focus solely on this leg of the race and not worry about time or speed or the run or if I was going to PR. Keeping it simple and being in the here and now.

Firing up the Turbo Turtle for its first race! :D
PC: Johnny Shelby

Positives:

1) Instead of caring which way the wind was coming from and focusing on speed, I only had eyes for my power number and tried to keep it at 180W+
2) Felt strong the entire time and even the guys I was passing up started cheering for me!
3) Had my first successful left handed bottle feed (I closed my eyes for a split second, bracing myself for a crash, but it didn't happen!)
4) Had two successful snot rockets! You'd be amazed how much faster you can bike when all your airways are clear :)
5) Biking in the rain is always fun :D

Negatives Positives to be:
1) Within minutes after hopping on the bike, I started burping and throwing up. I'd just spit it out like a champ and kept moving. I threw up a few more times during the ride -- maybe that's why I biked so fast, I kept getting lighter throughout the race!
2) I bonked hard at mile 42, partly due to the GI distress and also because my fueling for Z3 is different. I've been training and fueling in Z1 all year, so racing in Z3 is a shocker and changes the type of fuel I burn and the amount of calories. Easy fix -- I just pulled aside for a minute, slowed down, and chomped down on an extra bar.

A major bike PR of 7 minutes! I think it mainly had to do with the bike and not me, but sheesh, it was fast! My bike split would've been 7th among the Pro women (3 min behind the leader), and the scary thing is... I had a lot more left in me.

T2: I love love love seeing empty racks when I get back from biking. It gives me an extra boost mentally for the run.

Run: I normally immediately feel the effects of a hammering bike ride, but I never felt it. My legs were fresshhhh. So fresh, that they popped out the gate wanting to do sub 7:30 pace. I forced them to slow down but they didn't want to. I finally managed to get them to sit at an 8-8:30, partly because I was unsure about how my achilles would hold up and also mentally because I knew my body was tired from Ironman training and didn't want to blow up (Damn you mind! Always holding me back and trying to be cautious). 

At least my hair looked fast! Good form and strong running for lap 1. Glad there's no picture for lap 2 and 3!
PC: Nicole Lamb

It was awesome until after mile 6. All the vomiting finally caught up to me and I had nothing left at this point. I had to drag myself in the last 7 miles. It felt like I was being suckered punch in the gut the rest of the run. Not the PR run I was hoping for, but I still hung on to PR the race. I'll get that sub 5 hours next time, you can count on that! Finished just 2 minutes shy of the podium - a killer, but can't complain. :)

Lessons:
1) Only you yourself know your body the best. Karen made dinner for us Saturday, and I knew I should've avoided the pork she gave me due to its fat content because I eat real clean and lean, so any extra fat or grease wrecks my GI system. She convinced me it was okay and that the cook had burned most of the fat away, so I ate it and paid for it. I knew right away race morning that my gut wasn't 100% and was wondering when in the race it would affect me. If anything, it was my fault as I should've stuck with my no and ate something else. On the upside, I'm much closer to race weight this week. :P
2) Being in the here and now makes racing so much less stressful. Only worrying about getting the best of each leg at a time is much simpler and easier!
3) I am capable of so much more. If you thought this race looked good on paper, then you and me both are up for a great surprise! Despite every setback this season, to be able to pull out a performance like that at the end of a huge training block and feel that good?!? I'm super stoked for what's to come!
4) I have awesome friends and family and teammates. It was a blast getting to see people I know on the course and cheer them on. It gets more and more fun each year as I start to know and befriend more triathletes. :)
5) Setbacks are worth it. They make me appreciate all the little growths and achievements even more. There's a pep in my step and an extra grin in my chin! Bring it on 2015!

It's hard not to smile when you're around Karen :)
PC: Karen Man