Peekaboo!

After a rough start to the year with injuries and inconsistent training, it's hard to not feel discouraged and lose some confidence. Then follows the doubts, negative thoughts, and wanting to give up. But 2015 was suppose to be different. I was to believe in myself fully and remain positive aka work on my mental game.

So instead of freaking out, I relaxed.

- You're burnt out anyways and need this time to recover.

- It's another long season, so take your time to get ready. There's no rush.

- Use this period to spend more time with friends and family before training ramps up.

I trained when I could and kept pushing through the mental and physical rut. How bad did it get? A friend had to push me (literally push me, as in hand on my back, launching me every couple seconds) the last 12 miles of a century ride. Try not feeling embarrassed after that!

But instead of hanging up my cleats the next day, I was back out there. Despite being in pain and clearly frustrated at how hard it was to hit numbers that I used to hold easily, I kept going. Then the inevitable happened. There were glimpses of the athlete I was and know I can be. They'd show up randomly during training sessions. 

Peekaboo

I'm hitting and sustaining power numbers from the end of last season.

Peekaboo

I'm feeling so good, I'm racing trains.

Peekaboo

I'm feeling stronger at the four hour mark than I was at the forty minute mark.

Peekaboo

I'm daydreaming about competing at Worlds and next thing I know I'm holding Zone 4 like it's nothing.

Peekaboo

There's a big stupid grin on my face.

These legs surprise me with what they can do sometimes

Sometimes glimpses of hope are all that's necessary. Hanging onto those moments and working toward making them permanent is more rewarding than believing they are just fleeting moments.

These glimpses of greatness, strength, and success are all I need to sustain and fuel me at the moment. I know the elite athlete is still in me and it'll reveal herself when she's ready. And man, I'm freaking ready!

Never give up. Always believe. Play peekaboo.

Move

A few weeks ago, I attended a concert that was entirely in another language. None of the songs performed were in English, but that didn't stop me from thoroughly enjoying myself because I could feel the music and the love and passion that were being expressed by the artists on the stage. Head bangings, shoulder shrugs, eye closings, leapings, feet stompings, grand gesturings. I witnessed passion pouring out from every pore of their bodies and that was enough to make me understand the message they were trying to send me. Music moves. Passion moves.

Idan Raichel and his band doing their amazing thing

That is what I want to do. I want to move people. I want to inspire others with my passion alone. We don't have to speak the same language. We don't have to live the same life. We don't have to play the same sport. We just have to connect.


You don't have to know my whole life story or understand all the hardships I've been through to realize the magnitude of what I'm trying to do (although it'll help!). The changes speak for themselves. The growth will be revealed. The love and passion will ooze from every pore of my being. Because when you are truly touched and moved, the enlightenment and joy cannot be contained.

I'm not a big fan of selfies, but this photo is too infection and joy-filled to not share

2015 will be the year where I will not be contained. I want to move, be moved, and move you. With every fiber of my being, I am going to believe. Last year I believed too but with doubts. This year I am succumbing to what moves me because I want to be a better person (and athlete!). I need to be a better me. I need to keep moving.

Life's all about discovering the unknown and relishing its adventures

No more doubting for 2015.
No more negative thoughts.
No more worrying.
No more regrets.
No more holding back.


Just give in, believe, and move.





Can you feel it?

Good. 2015 is going to be our year. Let's move!

ps, where I'll be moving to this year :)

Typical Tuesday

6:00a Alarm goes off
6:05a Cook breakfast
6:15a Eat breakfast
6:30a Pack cycling gear, load car
6:35a Drive to park
7:15a Bike
8:30a Load car, drive home
9:00a Cook second breakfast
9:30a Shower/stretch
10:00a Drive to Third Coast Training
10:30a Altitude training
12:30p Lunch
1:30p Nap
3:00p Bike to pool
3:15p Swim
4:30p Bike home
4:40p Weights
6:20p Cook dinner
6:45p Carpool with parents and Tim to Wortham Theater
7:30p A Christmas Carol Play
10:00p Drop parents off, say goodbye
10:15p Bed

If you think chasing dreams is easy, think again. It takes a lot of work, discipline, balance, and sacrifice, but I think it's totally worth it.