Rocket Science

Ah, winter. Winter is the time for layering, bundling, and cuddling. Winter is also time for gatherings, gifts, colds, and flus. But most importantly, as an athlete, winter is the time for me to test my determination and will in perfecting the art of snot rocketing.

Yes, you've read that right. I have yet to get my degree in this field of rocket science after what has been many years since I enrolled in this athletic world university. I first gained interest in this field of study after witnessing my sister launch her rockets during one of our runs when I visited her at college. Amazed, I asked her how she achieved such localized pressure and impeccable aim in the launch. It's easy, she said. Just cover one nostril and blow.

I have since learned what's easy for Karen is not easy for me. After wiping the snot residue off my face, I decided to stick with sniffling throughout the entire run. I don't need this stupid degree, even though it'll make me look so cool and professional.

Fast forward 5 years later. The need for my rocket science degree increased as I started biking in the winter. You can always use your hands, but then where are you going to wipe them? Your jersey only has so many clean spots (especially if you're out riding 70+ miles) and having rocket residue all over your handle bars is quite disgusting. So as any good scientist would do, I kept notes on my experimentations and trials. Here are a few things I've learned:

• There are at least 3 types of rockets and only one of them is optimal for launching. 
• The first type is similar to a runny nose, and this rocket will not have enough substance to launch, no matter how much fire power is exerted. Best way to handle type I is to use tissue, shirt, or just sniffle.
• The second rocket type is quite adhesive. It's kin is the kind of snot you get when you're sick. When you blow, it's like Rapunzel's hair -- never ending. THESE ARE NOT IDEAL ROCKETS! Trust me. Just like how Rapunzel's hair gets all over her face, so do these rockets. And they're harder to get rid of as they are stickier than a spider's web.

  

  How I feel when I accidentally launch a type II rocket.

• The third type has a viscosity that's in between type I and type II. These make very decent rockets. The weight, size, and viscosity of type IIIs allow for them to be released as nice pellets. Any bit of launching power shoots them out of the staging chamber. You are not required to keep launching for two minutes as type II do just to clear the chamber.

  

  Type III rockets are most ideal for launching.
  Side note: if your type III is modeled after this (green in color), you have a sinus infection!

• If you are unsure about which type of rocket is stored in the staging chamber, I strongly advise you to either wait till you're alone on the ride or to move to the back of the pack before launching. If it's a type II, be sure to clean your face well before working your way back up the peleton!

I still haven't gotten my master degree in Rocket Science as I am still traumatized by the last rocket I launched almost a year ago, but I will not let that deter me and will continue to learn and practice until that diploma is mine. In the meantime, please excuse rocket residues on my face. It's all in the love of sport science!

Me and my inspiration aka Snot Rocket Master.